Liveblogging my airplane trip to NYC, not so much because I figure you care but rather because I'm bored as shit...
Claustrophobic as hell but according to clock we are 25 minutes ahead of schedule, according to web we are 45 minutes ahead of schedule. I want to trust the web. There is a man sitting next to me that smells of whiskey so bad that I want to puke. He doesn't smell like whiskey from a bottle though, more like whiskey licked out of a dead woman's mouth - that weird old stale smell that reminds me of grandma, had she drank whiskey instead of vodka. I would wish him death but I fear that he might actually smell worse if that happened.
In front of me is a lady with a little boy with a very wide head, almost like a football. He is probably 8. He'll be a famous comedian someday - he has to be because he has a football head. He is extremely funny. Crude as hell but very funny. I am mad at them both because they have all kinds of leg room while me and Whiskey a Go Go have none. The girl to my right has the window. She's nice. I think she's only nice though because she thinks that it's me that stinks like an old rotting englishman though and not Capt. Jack here.
And my laptop is too big for the fucking dumb little table so I have to use iPad and everyone wants to touch my iPad. Everyone can fuck off.
