Robert F**king Wagner

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      30 Oct 2010

      Wi-Fi at 520mph (pt.2)

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      Maybe I spoke too soon in my praise for United's Wi-Fi service. I just wrote a three paragraph blog update about 30 minutes ago and I see now that it never posted. Oh well, it's not like I have anything better to do but write it all over again, right? Anyway, Jim Beam over here is drooling a minor waterfall all over his nicely pressed powder blue JCPenny dress shirt. Now, this isn't particularly unusual for a flight except that he's still awake while he's doing it. I'm convinced he's reading this as I'm typing it but he's just so zoned out in lushville that it's really all just a blur to him. I managed to get his unwanted attention earlier playing a round of this rather addicting pinball app I have on the iPad. I love the game but it lasts way too long. I find myself deliberately losing after about 20 minutes just to make the damn thing end. I think the motion of the ball on the screen and the resulting scrolling all over the place made him a little dizzy. Poor Jim Beam.

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      30 Oct 2010

      Wi-Fi at 520mph (pt.1)

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      Liveblogging my airplane trip to NYC, not so much because I figure you care but rather because I'm bored as shit... Claustrophobic as hell but according to clock we are 25 minutes ahead of schedule, according to web we are 45 minutes ahead of schedule. I want to trust the web. There is a man sitting next to me that smells of whiskey so bad that I want to puke. He doesn't smell like whiskey from a bottle though, more like whiskey licked out of a dead woman's mouth - that weird old stale smell that reminds me of grandma, had she drank whiskey instead of vodka. I would wish him death but I fear that he might actually smell worse if that happened.

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  • Robert F**king Wagner

    Who I am and where I'm from is completely unimportant, much like the content and babble you're likely to read about herein.

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